Albert and Harold plan a Christmas abroad, but when Albert discovers he needs a passport, things start to get complicated.
Albert tries to get in touch with the other side to try to contact his wife, and Harold of course thinks it's all a con.
Harold's life becomes hell when Albert throws out his back.
Albert's martial arts friends save the day.
Harold's love life is going through a tricky phase, so he doesn't need Albert to be a wet blanket.
Harold brings home a `what-the-butler-saw' machine but one of the stars seems strangely familiar; for the local vicar it seems to be a chance to make some money.
Much to Harold's amusement, Albert hoards old clothes; a fashion photographer turns up looking for an original shooting location.
There's no electricity, no gas, no food, no booze and no cigarettes; two unwelcome visitors drop by the yard direct from the Scrubbs; the two jail breakers soon realize they've picked the wrong house.
Harold takes drastic measures to get some privacy from Albert by dividing the house up.
Harold seeks psychiatric help when his stress level reaches a dangerous all time high; during a bout of sleepwalking, he tries to strangle Albert.
Albert has never made a contribution to the welfare state but is still intent upon making a claim.
When one of Albert's 16 siblings passes away, a family feud ensues following the reading of the will; Wily old Albert has a few tricks up his sleeve though.
When Harold is invited to appear in a local amateur dramatics festival under the tutelage of renowned director Rupert Faines-Muir, he reckons he's on the way to stardom; unsurprisingly, Albert is not convinced.
Albert and Harold are inspired to take of journalism after a game of Scrabble.
Harold's long lost brother turns up from Australia and stands to inherit half of the business, but he may not be who he claims to be.
Harold thinks he has struck antique gold when he buys a 19th century commode, but Albert isn't so sure.
Harold is determined to beat Albert at snooker and buys a table so that he can do so; unfortunately, it's slightly too large for their room.
Harold and Albert decide to move from their house under the Shepherd's Bush flyover to take up residence in a more salubrious suburb of London.
The local Conservative party wants Albert to entertain Ted Heath at the yard as a stunt for a bi election; Staunch Labourite Harold vows to do everything to sabotage it.
Albert brings his fiancee home to meet Harold, not realizing that the two of them were in love many years ago and still are.
When Harold meets a woman who loves ballroom dancing, he discovers that although he can't dance a step, his father used to trip the light fantastic with some aplomb.
Albert accidentally destroys Harold's collection of china, then fabricates a story about a robbery and the police and the press get involved.
The rag and bone men discover that Monopoly and life are not quite the same thing when they try to buy their yard.
The pair gets into a tizzy over a TB test following a mix up with the results.
Harold wants to get himself a flashy new car to impress the dolly birds; Albert, on the other hand, is slightly more interested in one of those nice new color televisions, a great luxury in those bygone days of 1970.
Harold believes that he is about to become a father, but Albert is slightly more suspicious of the mother's virtuous nature.
Albert is concerned about a dealer's interest in Harold, which he believes may not be purely professional.
Harold prepares for a fortnight's skiing party without Albert; maybe fate will smile upon him just this once.
Harold has to break the sad news to Albert that Hercules the horse is dead; Albert may have a heart after all.
Harold takes Albert on a trip to France to visit the old battlefields; on the flight, Albert can't keep his opinions to himself.
Harold advances his political ambitions by hosting a labor party meeting at home, but his father Albert, a Tory supporter, attempts to disrupt it.
Harold decides to rent his own apartment so he can have some privacy, leaving Albert on his own.
When a summons is delivered from the local butcher, the Steptoes barricade themselves in the house.
Albert gets locked in the outhouse while Harold finds a rare piece of porcelain.
In an attempt to bring in some money, Albert decides to advertise for a lodger, but Harold threatens to leave as soon as the lodger shows up.
When the Steptoes receive an unexpected windfall, life is suddenly filled with exciting possibilities.
Harry and Albert plan an evening at the movies, but can't agree on what movie to see.
A con man tries to pull one over on the Steptoes, but Harold figures it out.
When Harold brings home a cart full of coffins, trouble ensues.
Harold plans to travel the world, so Albert goes into a home, but the future holds surprises for them both.
Harold meets a married rich lady and falls for her, but Albert is quick to discourage him.
Harold invites some friends for poker, and when they cheat him, Albert comes to the rescue.
Harold picks up some old records and plans to spend the evening listening to music, but of course Albert has other plans.
Harold pretends to forget Albert's birthday as a joke,but it ends up not being so funny.
Albert has plans to marry a widow he has been dating, but Harold is determined to put a stop to it.
Albert decides to build a bathroom in a very inconvenient place for Harold, who is having a lady friend over for cocktails.
Hercules is sick and is taken to the vet, and Albert and Harold's friends step in to help.
Harold has holiday plans, and they don't involve Albert or the annual trip to Bognor Regis; Albert attempts to change his son's mind by using emotional blackmail.
Harold is fed up with scraping a living and with Albert's constant criticism of his ability to do the rounds; he decides to follow a different vocation and takes a correspondence course in TV repairing.
Harold tries to teach Albert a valuable lesson in economics, but his plan backfires.
The offer of a free piano seems too good to be true, and it is.
Harold has been starting to go out in the evenings, making Albert suspicious, but as it turns out Harold seeing a girl, so Albert suggests Harold invite her round for dinner.
Harold gets an offer that would enable him to leave the junkyard forever, but his dad has other ideas and does all he can to keep up the family tradition.