Never the Twain

Never the Twain

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Episode Guide

  • Never the Twain - The First of the Queue (Season 11 Episode 6)
    Season 11 Episode 6:

    The First of the Queue

    Simon decides to sleep on the streets.

  • Never the Twain - Two Fools and Their Money (Season 11 Episode 5)
    Season 11 Episode 5:

    Two Fools and Their Money

    Simon and Oliver both feel the pinch in a recession.

  • Never the Twain - There Goes the Bride (Season 11 Episode 4)
    Season 11 Episode 4:

    There Goes the Bride

    Simon's Aunt Eleanor announces her engagement.

  • Never the Twain - Born Again (Season 11 Episode 3)
    Season 11 Episode 3:

    Born Again

    Simon seeks the meaning of life.

  • Never the Twain - The Best Laid Plans (Season 11 Episode 2)
    Season 11 Episode 2:

    The Best Laid Plans

    The men celebrate 10 years of neighborly rivalry.

  • Never the Twain - Viva Espana (Season 11 Episode 1)
    Season 11 Episode 1:

    Viva Espana

    The men plan a trip to Spain.

  • Never the Twain - A Car by Any Other Name (Season 10 Episode 6)
    Season 10 Episode 6:

    A Car by Any Other Name

    A joyride lands the men in trouble with the law.

  • Never the Twain - There But for the Grace of God (Season 10 Episode 5)
    Season 10 Episode 5:

    There But for the Grace of God

    Aunt Eleanor gives Simon's bed to an acquaintance.

  • Never the Twain - Happy Holiday (Season 10 Episode 4)
    Season 10 Episode 4:

    Happy Holiday

    Simon and Oliver take a weekend in the country.

  • Never the Twain - Who Wants to Be a Millionaire (Season 10 Episode 3)
    Season 10 Episode 3:

    Who Wants to Be a Millionaire

    Simon's football numbers bring him grief.

  • Never the Twain - S.W.A.L.K. (Season 10 Episode 2)
    Season 10 Episode 2:

    S.W.A.L.K.

    Simon has a secret pen pal with marriage plans.

  • Never the Twain - X Marks the Spot (Season 10 Episode 1)
    Season 10 Episode 1:

    X Marks the Spot

    Oliver and Simon vie as political candidates.

  • Never the Twain - A Winter's Tale (Season 9 Episode 7)
    Season 9 Episode 7:

    A Winter's Tale

    Oliver and Simon think peace and goodwill to men during the holidays would be a miracle.

  • Never the Twain - Bonjour Paris (Season 9 Episode 6)
    Season 9 Episode 6:

    Bonjour Paris

    Simon and Oliver visit Paris.

  • Never the Twain - Neighbours (Season 9 Episode 5)
    Season 9 Episode 5:

    Neighbours

    Oliver does not reciprocate Simon's kindness.

  • Never the Twain - Aspects of Love (Season 9 Episode 4)
    Season 9 Episode 4:

    Aspects of Love

    Simon and Oliver may be having affairs.

  • Never the Twain - A New Lease on Life (Season 9 Episode 3)
    Season 9 Episode 3:

    A New Lease on Life

    Simon decides he's fading away too quickly.

  • Never the Twain - A Question of Honour (Season 9 Episode 2)
    Season 9 Episode 2:

    A Question of Honour

    Simon defends his aunt's honor.

  • Never the Twain - Just the Ticket (Season 9 Episode 1)
    Season 9 Episode 1:

    Just the Ticket

    Simon tries to ruin a rugby outing.

  • Never the Twain - It's a Long Way to Friern Barnet (Season 8 Episode 6)
    Season 8 Episode 6:

    It's a Long Way to Friern Barnet

    Simon and Oliver try to outdo each other.

  • Never the Twain - Moving On (Season 8 Episode 5)
    Season 8 Episode 5:

    Moving On

    Simon and Oliver don't want their offspring to move.

  • Never the Twain - Never Say Die (Season 8 Episode 4)
    Season 8 Episode 4:

    Never Say Die

    Oliver attributes Simon's health concerns to hypochondria.

  • Never the Twain - Whose Baby? (Season 8 Episode 3)
    Season 8 Episode 3:

    Whose Baby?

    David has some bad news as the christening approaches.

  • Never the Twain - Nursery Times (Season 8 Episode 2)
    Season 8 Episode 2:

    Nursery Times

    Simon and Oliver vie over their infant grandson.

  • Never the Twain - Grandfathers-in-Law (Season 8 Episode 1)
    Season 8 Episode 1:

    Grandfathers-in-Law

    Simon and Oliver have a grandson in common.

  • Never the Twain - Fasten Your Seat Belts (Season 7 Episode 6)
    Season 7 Episode 6:

    Fasten Your Seat Belts

    Intoxicated Simon and Oliver fly to visit their grandson.

  • Never the Twain - Born to Blush Unseen (Season 7 Episode 5)
    Season 7 Episode 5:

    Born to Blush Unseen

    Simon envies Oliver's success at hybridizing flowers.

  • Never the Twain - The Second Time Around (Season 7 Episode 4)
    Season 7 Episode 4:

    The Second Time Around

    Someone must be found to replace departed Banks.

  • Never the Twain - Betrothed, Bothered & Bewildered (Season 7 Episode 3)
    Season 7 Episode 3:

    Betrothed, Bothered & Bewildered

    Simon and Oliver offer advice as the wedding approaches.

  • Never the Twain - The Wages of Sin (Season 7 Episode 2)
    Season 7 Episode 2:

    The Wages of Sin

    Simon and Oliver place a wager on which of them is a better salesman.

  • Never the Twain - Settled Out of Court (Season 7 Episode 1)
    Season 7 Episode 1:

    Settled Out of Court

    Simon considers suing Oliver over a business deal.

  • Never the Twain - Affairs of the Heart (Season 6 Episode 6)
    Season 6 Episode 6:

    Affairs of the Heart

    Simon fears his ex-wife has returned to stay.

  • Never the Twain - The Battle of Deveraux Dale (Season 6 Episode 5)
    Season 6 Episode 5:

    The Battle of Deveraux Dale

    Simon and Oliver re-create an ancient battle.

  • Never the Twain - A Night to Remember (Season 6 Episode 4)
    Season 6 Episode 4:

    A Night to Remember

    Criminals hold Oliver and Simon at gunpoint.

  • Never the Twain - Love Is a Many-Splendored Thing (Season 6 Episode 3)
    Season 6 Episode 3:

    Love Is a Many-Splendored Thing

    Oliver's prospective mother-in-law forbids marriage.

  • Never the Twain - Going to Pot (Season 6 Episode 2)
    Season 6 Episode 2:

    Going to Pot

    Ringo invites Simon and Oliver for a quiet dinner.

  • Never the Twain - Feed a Cold (Season 6 Episode 1)
    Season 6 Episode 1:

    Feed a Cold

    Oliver offers to nurse ailing, grouchy Simon.

  • Never the Twain - Definitely Not Cricket (Season 5 Episode 6)
    Season 5 Episode 6:

    Definitely Not Cricket

    Simon and Oliver play in an old-timers' cricket match.

  • Never the Twain - Reading Between the Lines (Season 5 Episode 5)
    Season 5 Episode 5:

    Reading Between the Lines

    An estate agent threatens to ruin the neighborhood.

  • Never the Twain - Kung Who (Season 5 Episode 4)
    Season 5 Episode 4:

    Kung Who

    Oliver accepts Simon's challenge to take up judo.

  • Never the Twain - Thicker Than Water (Season 5 Episode 3)
    Season 5 Episode 3:

    Thicker Than Water

    Simon tells Oliver the strange secret of his birth.

  • Never the Twain - Going Going Gone (Season 5 Episode 2)
    Season 5 Episode 2:

    Going Going Gone

    Simon and Oliver disagree over a weekend pastime.

  • Never the Twain - In Whom We Tryst (Season 5 Episode 1)
    Season 5 Episode 1:

    In Whom We Tryst

    Simon and Oliver both fall for a pretty assistant.

  • Never the Twain - Come Fly With Me (Season 4 Episode 6)
    Season 4 Episode 6:

    Come Fly With Me

    Simon and Oliver's decision to buy cheap airline tickets results in one more flight than they bargained for.

  • Never the Twain - Loves' Neighbors' Lost (Season 4 Episode 5)
    Season 4 Episode 5:

    Loves' Neighbors' Lost

    Simon and Oliver vie for Caroline's hand.

  • Never the Twain - No Flame Like an Old Flame (Season 4 Episode 4)
    Season 4 Episode 4:

    No Flame Like an Old Flame

    Simon rekindles romance with a childhood flame.

  • Never the Twain - Words and Music (Season 4 Episode 3)
    Season 4 Episode 3:

    Words and Music

    Caroline asks Simon and Oliver to entertain at a luncheon.

  • Never the Twain - The Royal Connection (Season 4 Episode 2)
    Season 4 Episode 2:

    The Royal Connection

    Simon traces his genealogy while Oliver seeks a new customer.

  • Never the Twain - A Home of Your Own (Season 4 Episode 1)
    Season 4 Episode 1:

    A Home of Your Own

    Prospective tenants overrun Simon's empty house.

  • Never the Twain - Not on the Same Wavelength (Season 3 Episode 6)
    Season 3 Episode 6:

    Not on the Same Wavelength

    A local radio station interviews Oliver and Simon.

  • Never the Twain - The Welsh Connection (Season 3 Episode 5)
    Season 3 Episode 5:

    The Welsh Connection

    David and Lyn put Simon and Oliver on a health plan.

  • Never the Twain - The End of the Line (Season 3 Episode 4)
    Season 3 Episode 4:

    The End of the Line

    David and Lyn announce they will not have children.

  • Never the Twain - A Nose for Quality (Season 3 Episode 3)
    Season 3 Episode 3:

    A Nose for Quality

    Local gentry visits both Oliver's and Simon's shops.

  • Never the Twain - Partners (Season 3 Episode 2)
    Season 3 Episode 2:

    Partners

    Simon and Oliver stand to lose money as business partners.

  • Never the Twain - Taking Stock (Season 3 Episode 1)
    Season 3 Episode 1:

    Taking Stock

    Oliver and Simon take inventory of their business.

  • Never the Twain - The More We Are Together (Season 2 Episode 6)
    Season 2 Episode 6:

    The More We Are Together

    Simon and Oliver consider becoming business partners.

  • Never the Twain - If You Knew Susan (Season 2 Episode 5)
    Season 2 Episode 5:

    If You Knew Susan

    Oliver takes a liking to Simon's younger sister, Susan.

  • Never the Twain - Blood Brothers (Season 2 Episode 4)
    Season 2 Episode 4:

    Blood Brothers

    The duo become blood brothers after Oliver saves Simon's life.

  • Never the Twain - A Woman's Place ... (Season 2 Episode 3)
    Season 2 Episode 3:

    A Woman's Place ...

    Lyn and David ask their fathers for marital advice.

  • Never the Twain - As Young as You Feel (Season 2 Episode 2)
    Season 2 Episode 2:

    As Young as You Feel

    Simon makes Oliver a deceptively generous offer.

  • Never the Twain - Who's Been Sleeping in My Bed? (Season 2 Episode 1)
    Season 2 Episode 1:

    Who's Been Sleeping in My Bed?

    Oliver and Simon argue over sleeping arrangements.

  • Never the Twain - Father of the Groom (Season 1 Episode 6)
    Season 1 Episode 6:

    Father of the Groom

    Simon and Oliver reconcile for their children's wedding.

  • Never the Twain - Nothing But the Truth (Season 1 Episode 5)
    Season 1 Episode 5:

    Nothing But the Truth

    Lyn and David promise to always be honest with each other.

  • Never the Twain - A Matched Pair (Season 1 Episode 4)
    Season 1 Episode 4:

    A Matched Pair

    Simon is overjoyed to learn Oliver's shop was robbed.

  • Never the Twain - A Night at the Opera (Season 1 Episode 3)
    Season 1 Episode 3:

    A Night at the Opera

    Simon and Oliver both wish to take Veronica to an opera.

  • Never the Twain - Of Meissen Men (Season 1 Episode 2)
    Season 1 Episode 2:

    Of Meissen Men

    Simon and Oliver pursue a new female acquaintance.

  • Never the Twain - Families at War (Season 1 Episode 1)
    Season 1 Episode 1:

    Families at War

    Rival antique dealers and single fathers Simon Peel and Oliver Smallbridge are drawn together by a family problem.

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